“Dysfunction, thy name is Government”

Well, it’s definite. This is THE most dysfunctional Congress/White House in the history of the United States. Believe me when I say “I know from dysfunction” because when I was little going to visit my father every other weekend, my mother would stick a piece of paper in my pocket and say “Your name and phone number are on this. If he tries to kidnap you, give it to a stranger.” I was the one who was left alone in the Tokyo airport alone for half a day when I was eight so my father could go fly into Laos and then get hammered. I know dysfunction.

And this wins the prize.

I understand that there is always going to be disagreement over policies up there and I understand how debate and compromise fuels the halls of DC but for god’s sake, now we’re fighting over what time to have a meeting.

The President wants to address a joint session of Congress to unveil his plan for job growth, a plan and a move Congress has been hounding and demanding for months. You’d think that would be a pretty cut and dry proposition for both sides: the President wants to get his plan out there to start building national confidence, Congress wants to hear the plan so they can start tearing it apart. You’d think that’s a win-win. But no.

The president wanted to have the joint session Wednesday, at the same time the GOP was having the next nationally televised presidential candidate’s debate, which could easily be construed as a way to crash their party (literally). Understandably, the GOP doesn’t want that, so they said “How about Thursday?” Knowing full well that that particular night was opening night of the NFL season. Let’s be honest, even with rampant unemployment, the NFL trumps Washington DC (unless of course the Redskins are playing!)

Then it was suggested that the president move his speech to Tuesday. That was originally nixed by the White House because they didn’t want the pres to look like he could be pushed around by Congress AND it would give the GOP candidates plenty of time to run the president’s plan through a shredder and then serve it up at the debate the next night.

(I think now would be a good time to point out that Ronald Reagan, the grandest of the grand poo-bahs of the GOP would have just told Congress ‘screw you, I’m the President and I’ll speak when I damn well please’)

Someone actually had the audacity to suggest that they do it the same night. Let the president speak then go directly to the GOP debate afterward. Which I would find interesting since the GOP candidates would have to come up with responses to the president’s speech on the spot without benefit of twenty four hours of spin doctoring by their handlers. It would be fascinating to see ANY candidate actually have to think on their feet!

But let’s be real, that idea, at least to me, made way too much sense. And as you know, Common Sense in Washington is just the name of some book some guy wrote awhile back.

So at least as of right now, the president will speak Thursday (giving in?) and Wednesday the GOP will tee it up for trashing without benefit of actually hearing the plan. Stupid me, I seem to think that the time spent wasted on “Speech-gate” could have been spent doing something a little more productive like, I don’t know, maybe FIXING our Country!?! Sorry, that dang common sense thing cropping up again. Or how about packing up their crap in anticipation for the impending onslaught on anti-incumbant-ism come November next year.

I get debate, I get disagreement and I get COMPROMISE.

My mother taught me that you don’t have to respect the man but you need to respect the office. Things like “Speech-gate” make it more and more difficult to respect ANYBODY up there.

Like I said earlier, I know for dysfunction. I have my master’s in dysfunction and not even my messed up family acted this ridiculous. We disagreed, we fought, we got tired of fighting then we figured out a way to stop the disagreement to everyone’s benefit or we spent the rest of the day standing in the corner facing the wall with a sore arse. Sometimes one person got the better end of the deal, sometimes I came out the winner. But no matter what, things always ended the same; we’d be laughing with each other while we cleaned the kitchen.

Mom is watching, kids. It’s time to quit acting like a bunch of children and start cleaning the kitchen.

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